November 2009
8 posts
hateyou: frogs
I kind of hate frogs.
I know, I know. Plenty of people love frogs to the extent they collect figurines of them. Many children’s decor schemes revolve around their friendly countenances. And yet, I hate.
Have you ever noticed frogs come out at the grossest times? When the world is wet and soggy and sloppy they emerge to jump and move at random and unpredictable intervals and get run over...
loveyou: Mary Roach
I am smitten with Mary Roach, author of such non-fiction shimmery books of wonder as Stiff, Spook, and Boink. I love pretty much everything about her. When I read her books I feel like she’s my BFF. I understand her OCD-like compulsion for research, the accessible comedy of her 14 year old boy with a large vocabulary humor. When I read her books I feel like she might actually BE me,...
hateyou: a very specific type of white dually...
Here in crazyville, I mean Texas, USA, there are a group of people that are enthusiasts of a very specific type of giant truck that also seems to make them lose their minds wholesale: white dually truck owners, I hate you.
I like people who drive trucks. I am not someone who hates anyone who drives anything larger than a Prius. I do not smell my own farts in stemware ala Southpark. I...
loveyou: hot towels
Whether on a plane, in a sushi restaurant, a spa, or just because, I heartily love a hot towel. When someone offers me a hot towel, I just can’t help but get happy. Like F*&K YEAH I’LL TAKE A HOT TOWEL. I generally enjoy warmth, but there’s something a little unexpected about the hot towel. Like a rare luxury who’s custom is not very commonplace, thus elevating...
hateyou: Halloween egg nog
I was in the grocery store this week and they not only had egg nog out already in the dairy aisle but they had about a third of the case branded as Halloween egg nog replete with crappy illustrations of witches on the cartons and bottles. My mind boggles at the idea of marketers sitting in a meeting going, well, egg nog really sells great around the holidays, but how do we get people to drink it...
loveyou: cats that act like dogs
I have never been much of a cat person. But then one fine day in September, we purchased a highfalutin well-bred oriental cat for my husband’s birthday. And guess what? I love the crap out of this supermodel cat. He is ridiculously awesome. He talks all the time, jumps around crazy like a Labrador, and basically has the personality of a friendly but slightly addled pooch. So, I love you,...
hateyou: AT&T
Hating AT&T is too easy. It’s like hating racism. You would be universally supported by humankind in your hatred of AT&T. But still I must. My husband and I made 8 service calls this week for various and sundry issues we had with our wireless, our VOIP, and our u-verse DVR. We give a car payment’s worth of money every month to AT&T and in many ways the services we get...
loveyou: Ryan Reynolds's lower man section
This is a very specific love here folks. My love is not for Ryan Reynolds the person or the magazine interview subject, nor for Ryan Reynolds the actor or star of such films as Crap I Never See Unless It Involves Geek Intellectual Property. I have a deep and compelling love for Ryan Reynolds’s lower torso to pelvis region, an area I tend to dub the lower man section. It includes the abs,...